Am I the only one who feels that jc life totally cheats your feelings? At least in jc1, life was still more or less exciting, experimenting with stuff, adapting to this whole new way of life, experiencing many 'first times' for the first time.
I remember feeling last year like I was finally in a good place, right exactly where I was supposed to be, and for a short time, I was actually quite contented. This year, it's just been one break down after another, and resisting and fighting things I shouldn't be resisting and fighting.
It scares me to think that I might not really want anything, badly enough to do whatever it takes me to get it. It just makes me wonder whether I will ever know what it's like to want or believe in something so strongly, to be willing to die for it, if it ever came to that.
Like the war heroes of the past or something..
Haha I realise I'm always writing about random things that probably make no sense whatsoever to anyone other tha myself. Heh. Then again, isn't that what blogs are for, really? ;)
Well, anyway, in other random matters, I do really want Avril Lavigne's new album 'The Best Damn Thing' ^^ Can't wait can't wait for it to be out!
And I got a new pair of rollerblades yesterday, wh00ts. Tho they're quite cheapo but they'll do, and I won't complain, at least there's no more borrowing my bro's ones. Another of those things-I-must-get-myself-the-moment-I-get-my-1st-paycheck: really pro (looking) blades!
And also a punching bag.
my conscience called in sick again
April 07, 2007 ; 15:48